Indian Dining Etiquette

Though Indian cooking uses an extensive array of specialized utensils for various purposes, Indians traditionally do not use much cutlery for eating, as many foods – such as Indian breads and curry – are best enjoyed when eating with the hand but given the urbanization and the diversification, these at best can be described as traditional mediums , or guidelines and not what necessarily may be common in practice. There is a vast difference between regions and as much so between individual households. The best manner in which to understand and to fit in is really to notice, observe and ask given the situation and your host and hostess.

One aspect which clearly stands out is eating with one’s hands – it is a technique that can be quite clean and comfortable when done correctly, but may require a degree of practice. Remember to ensure that you wash your hands thoroughly before sitting down to eat. The reasoning behind the use of hands is that it helps add an additional element of enjoyment in the taste because it helps in blending the food together

Using the fingers, the food should be scooped onto the flatbread (naan, roti, etc.) and quickly brought to the mouth. In North India, when eating curry, the gravy must not be allowed to stain your fingers–only the fingertips are used. In South India, it is considered ill mannered to let your food stain the out side of your fingers or palm while eating and food is to be eaten only with the tip of the fingers, though popular belief is to think it is okay to use more of your hand. In South India, the plate is not to be touched or held by the left hand while eating.

The left hand is not used and kept clean. This facilitates the passing of dishes along the table as well as serving’s one self more portions, water etc.

Not all Indian foods can be eaten with the hands, however. If the food is “wet” or “watery,” like many daals and soups, spoons should be used. There is a obvious lack of eating apparatus when it comes to India, there is no set pattern, presentation or setting unlike in Europe or the States and additionally there is a large variation between household to household. It is not uncommon to see a set of people eating with their hands, and another set using a spoon or a fork to eat the same items, on the same table.

Finger bowls are primarily restricted to restaurants, and at most homes one would be expected to wash their hands post the completion of the meal.

These variations are further compounded and increased by the diversity of the population that is found in India, leading to regional differences in the way people eat.  For example while In North India, it is common to be seated at a dining table and eat, in South India, especially states such as Kerala, it is as common to see people sitting down and eating on banana leaves, with all the food placed and served on the banana leaves and eaten with the hand, this same style in true with respect to the traditional way of eating Bengali cuisine as well.

These habits or traditions are more likely to be found in rural than urban Indian. Given the fast pace of life, lack of time, cooking and entertaining has become morphed into what is convenient. So while it is not at all uncommon to find traditional dishes being cooked, the method of eating them has been realigned to considerations of practicality, convenience and urbanization and one tends to lean back on traditions only during special occasions such as a marriage, or a puja where it is expected, celebrated, and more importantly one has the time for it. The ‘rage’ in the markets is more aligned to finding and discovering restaurants which server authentic cuisines rather than how they are eaten – not that going and eating with your hands would be frowned upon in any way.

The concept of courses is another aspect which the Indian cuisine does not follow, and thus don’t expect to find a traditional western presentation of cutlery in India with the exception of restaurants. Most Indian homes, be it a family lunch or dinner, or while entertaining will serve the food in one go and then keep filling the dishes as dinner progresses. Everything cooked will be made available on the table with the exception of the dessert which will follow once most guests are done eating. This is most common with Indian dishes , if your host is offering a different cuisine altogether , for example continental , expect it to follow along the lines that it is traditionally followed i.e. multiple courses, the necessary cutlery but not as many (courses and cutlery) as one may find in a Western setting.

Guests can serve themselves what they like and take further portions if required. While general etiquette rules might suggest that everything should be tried out, it is more in theory than in practice and it is perfectly fine to skip something which might not suit your taste or appeal to you. Another worthwhile distinction to mention is that it acceptable for a guest to begin eating and not wait for the hostess or host to start first ; it is infact just the opposite, most will ensure that their guests have begun to eat before serving themselves.

Tradition suggests that leaving a plate empty and then saying no to additional helpings would suggest that the person s still hungry, while saying no while there is still food on the plate means that they have had their fill, again, more traditional trivia now than practical, in today’s day and age it would be considered rude to not completely eat the food on your plate, and end up wasting it.

Desserts on the other hand more often than not require the use of utensils. Most commonly a plate / bowl and a knife or a spoon depending on the item. Traditional Indian sweet i.e barfi’s can be picked up with the hand, placed on one’s plate if need be and eaten, while the wetter or softer ones will require the use of some utensil but the sheer variety which is available for consumption is simply mind boggling, and it is not difficult to go through a dinner eating some with your hands, the other with forks or spoons simply because of the number of choices available to the host or hostess to serve.

Unlike the western world, where dessert may also be followed by coffee, liquor, the serving of the dessert here would more often than not indicate that dinner is almost over. In some cases the famous Indian “paan” might be served but rarely does it go beyond that.